


Be With Me

by mattymurdox



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo - Freeform, Ben Solo Lives, Ending Fix, F/M, Fix-It, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey - Freeform, Rey Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Satisfying Ending, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars ST - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Freeform, TRoS Spoilers, sw st, tros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22022302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattymurdox/pseuds/mattymurdox
Summary: The last thing Rey remembers is Palpatine’s horrifying visage disintegrating into dust before her, accompanied by a distinct feeling that she no longer belongs to her body. “Where is Ben,” her last coherent thought as a terrifying darkness encompasses her vision and she falls to the ground.Then, somehow, it’s as if she’s been elevated above everything. She can see her body laying helpless and unmoving, the scattered chunks of statues destroyed by Palpatine’s lightning, even the twinkle of the thousands of ships above her. But all of this fades away the moment she sees Ben’s hand grasping the chasms edge and hears the sound of him dragging himself upwards. He’s in pain, a lot of pain, she can hear his soft whimpers as he limps and falls in her direction. She tries to reach for him, to call out his name, but finds she cannot move and no sound escapes her lips no matter how hard she tried. Then it hits her.Rey is dead.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Reylo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. Be With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I refuse to accept the ending we were given to Ben and Rey's story, so I will be writing my own.  
> There are spoilers I guess but I'm changing the ending and fixing it for myself and I hope for others too.  
> (this first chapter is angsty af but don't worry, it all works out in the end!)

The last thing Rey remembers is Palpatine’s horrifying visage disintegrating into dust before her, accompanied by a distinct feeling that she no longer belongs to her body. “Where is Ben,” her last coherent thought as a terrifying darkness encompasses her vision and she falls to the ground.   
Then, somehow, it’s as if she’s been elevated above everything. She can see her body laying helpless and unmoving, the scattered chunks of statues destroyed by Palpatine’s lightning, even the twinkle of the thousands of ships above her. But all of this fades away the moment she sees Ben’s hand grasping the chasms edge and hears the sound of him dragging himself upwards. He’s in pain, a lot of pain, she can hear his soft whimpers as he limps and falls in her direction. She tries to reach for him, to call out his name, but finds she cannot move and no sound escapes her lips no matter how hard she tried. Then it hits her. 

Rey is dead. 

It should bother her, she thinks fleetingly, but for some reason it doesn’t. She had known the cost of destroying Palpatine would be high and she had paid it willingly. No, being dead wasn’t what bothered her, it was the fact that her entire being was screaming out for Ben. To touch him. For him to see her. For him to hear her. Everything feels wrong separated from him, especially now. She can’t tear her eyes away from him. He’s still dragging himself slowly, painfully, toward her. She tries one last time to scream out his name but no sound escapes her lips. As he finally reaches her body, one large hand slides behind her back while the other gently grabs her right arm pulling her up into his lap. She swears she can feel something the moment he touches her. A warm glow where his hands are placed, as if her spirit still recognizes his touch even separated from her body. He looks around in desperation, but there is no one there to help him. She can feel more of the warmth of his touch as he pulls her into his chest. He holds her tight for a moment and she wishes they could stay like this forever, but in an instant something in his expression changes from devastation to resolve. He lowers her back down, placing a hand on her stomach and closing his eyes in concentration. The warmth she feels where his hands are touching her body begins to spread. It seeps out from him, up her torso, into her neck and head and eventually makes it all the way down her limbs and into the tips of her fingers and toes. As the sensation grows she hears a voice calling her name.

“Rey... please.” 

She wants to respond, but the heat of Ben’s touch is beginning to overwhelm her. Just as she begins to feel she can bear it no longer, her vision explodes in a blinding light. 

“Rey,” she hears Ben say again, wracked with pain and promise. Her vision begins to clear, the heat encompassing her body fading as quickly as it had arrived. She realizes with a jolt that she is no longer held suspended. She is with him, solid and real. She sits up suddenly, eyes fixing on his face. It is flooded with one emotion after another and she can hardly register each one before the next takes its place. Fear, relief, pain, joy, sadness, fear again, concern. She’s trying to take it all in, to savor him as he does the same for her. His eyes dance all over her face, his hands holding her steady.

“Ben,” she says, her face breaking into a dazzling smile that takes the remaining breath from his lungs. Her hands reach up to caress his face and the barest of smiles plays at the corners of his mouth. She can feel the trepidation radiating through his body and before she can stop herself places her mouth firmly on his. His mouth is soft and inviting and he wraps his arms around her, his hand reaching up to hold her neck and tangle softly into her hair. The fear previously radiating through him dissipates into a quiet ease and she desperately wants this moment to last forever.

“Don’t let go,” she thinks, her hands still holding his face. 

“Never,” comes his soft reply, and she pulls away begrudgingly only to take a breath.

She could kiss him again and almost does, but before she has the chance his face breaks into the most beautiful smile she has ever seen. There is a joy in him she never expected to see, and he lets out a chuckle that makes her feel like her heart is going to burst. She can’t keep her hands from his face and she is about to kiss him again when she realizes something is wrong. The strong sense of him she felt the moment he brought her back is flickering and sputtering. His grip on her begins to slip and his smile fades as he falls backwards. She tries to ease his fall the best she can but his head hits the ground with a sickening crack and she feels before she sees that Ben Solo is dead.

“No, no Ben, no, please don’t go, please!” Rey screams, tears streaming down her grimy face and neck. Her hands are on his face, his chest, back to his face and in his hair in desperation to find any sign of life. There is none.  
Her constant stream of protestations eventually begin to abate into wracking incoherent sobs as her face falls into his chest. She feels as if she’s being torn apart, her soul ripped in two.   
“I just got you back you can’t leave me now.” She says into his sweater, her voice muffled and broken by the sobs still catching her in her throat. “Please, be with me Ben, you have to be with me.” She says, resting her face on him for a moment longer before sitting up and placing a hand on his face.   
“Be with me Ben.” She pleads, her voice steadying slightly. “Please.” She says as one large tear rolls down her cheek and falls onto his chest. As it hits his sweater and sinks in to touch his skin there is a moment of eerie silence and she begins to think he’s actually gone. She goes to take a deep breath and in the same terrible moment Ben does too. He tries to sit up slowly but Rey’s arms are around him in an instant pulling him back up to her. Her hand cradles the back of his head and she tucks her face into his neck, unable to stop herself from sobbing once again.   
“It’s ok sweetheart.” He says with that soft sweet chuckle she knows she’ll never tire of hearing. “I promise, I’ll always come back for you.”


	2. Laughter Is The Best Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Ben and Rey find themselves to be alive again after a brief tango with death, much laughing and teasing ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some post resurrection fluff to get you and me through the day! Enjoy!

At this sound of his voice Rey sits up to look at him, the soft endearments and his slightly nervous laughter reverberating in her mind. Her hands are still resting on his chest and her face is covered with even more tearstained tracks running down her grime covered cheeks. Something between laughter and a choked sob bubbles up in Rey’s throat as she looks into his eyes and he starts to laugh. Not a simple chuckle like before, a deep strong laugh that shakes his body and hers, his hands holding her tight as it rocks through him.  
“Are you laughing at me!” She demands, punching him in the chest for emphasis. “Don’t you dare laugh at me Ben Solo!” She exclaims, grabbing a handful of his sweater in an attempt to pull him closer as his head rolls back in a continued peal of laughter.  
“You died Ben! I thought you were never coming back and you’re laughing at me!” Both of her hands now tightly grasping fistfuls of his shirt. “Y-you died t-too Rey!” He stammers out in between laughs as he pulls his head back up to look at her, his laughter dying down until he regains control over himself. “You died too.” He repeats, earnestly this time, reaching up a hand to push a stray strand of hair back behind her ear as he says it. “I know I’ll probably sound ridiculous, but I realized in that moment that I could not have lived without you. You are the only person I have left Rey. I could see no way forward in a galaxy where I breathed and you did not and so I knew what I had to do. Seems you and the force had other ideas.” He said, another smile playing at the corner of his lips.  
“Of course I did dimwit! I wasn’t going to let you get off that easily!” She said hitting his chest again, more playfully than before but still putting a bit of weight behind it. He winced as she connected with one of the more than likely broken ribs he had sustained in his fall. Though they had both been healed of their life threatening injuries, it seemed that many of the minor ones remained. “Careful sweetheart.” He winced, placing a hand over the spot she had hit. “Or you’ll be bringing me back again!”  
“Sorry!” she replied, a slight blush peaking through her dirt covered cheeks. “It’s just... you scared me. You have to know Ben, you must, I need you too.” He does know, in a nearly inexplicable way that reminds him of when he somehow knows to bank a certain direction at the last second when piloting a spacecraft or the way his hand almost seems to raise his lightsaber to defend him without having to really think about it. But hearing her say it out loud while sitting wrapped in his arms makes his stomach do what feels like an unending amount of flips.  
Before he can stop himself he’s leaning in to kiss her, previous hesitation gone in light of her declaration and the radiating sense of wholeness he feels by having her so near to him. He finds her as eager as he is, kissing him back fervently, one of her hands reaches up and tangles itself into his hair while the other wraps around the back of his neck. One of his own hands slides up the length of her back to gently rest on the nape of her neck. The moment seems to last forever and still it feels like not enough time and he is reluctant to pull away.  
“Well!” She exclaims, flashing him a dazzling smile that would have made his knees weak had he been standing. “I suppose you do know then!” “I suppose I do.” He replies leaning forward to rest his forehead gently on hers.

_________

It had been well over an hour when they realize that they are still sitting on the floor. They had spent the time in simple conversation about what had happened, sprinkled with intermittent moments of comfortable silence and gentle touches. Neither one of them wanted to break contact and suggest getting up, but Ben slowly began to realize that the lower half of his body was becoming perilously numb.  
“As much as I want to stay here with you in my arms forever, I think I need to stand up.” He says regretfully as he shifts to help her stand, giving her one of his hands to help support her. She keeps her hand in his to help him stand in return. Though truthfully, she thinks, she can’t yet stand the thought of not being in physical contact with him for fear that if she lets go he might somehow fade away and be lost forever. As he pulls himself up to stand beside her a painful rush of pins and needles radiates from his spine down through his legs and he almost crashes into her instead. They both end up swaying for a moment, laughing uncontrollably.  
“Sorry!” She giggles as they steady themselves. “Should have realized I was cutting off all your circulation.”  
He rolls his eyes good-naturedly and waves a hand dismissing her apology and takes a few wobbly steps as the blood slowly begins to return to his lower half. He looks like a child learning how to walk and Rey can’t stifle her laughter at how silly he looks stumbling around. At the sound of her giggling Ben jerks to look at her, face stern. She straightens her own face for a moment, widening her eyes as if she herself is a child that has been caught doing something they shouldn’t. He stares her down, scowling for a moment longer and then they both burst into the laughter at the same exact time.  
“Come here and give me your shoulder please!” He begs, putting out a hand in her direction as he limps toward her.  
“Ok! Ok, here!” She laughs, walking toward him so that he can place his weight on her shoulder. “Now.” He says looking around them with a long sigh. “How are we going to get out of here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been nearly a month since I wrote last! I've been having some health problems stacking up but finally am feeling better and had some time/energy to continue my fix-it.
> 
> I really hope you are enjoying it, I'm having a lot of fun writing it. The next chapter is actually done and I'll probably post it in a about a week.
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment to tell me what you think! Thanks!


	3. Time Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reconciles the man she once knew with the man Ben is now.
> 
> Ben wrestles with the guilt of his mistakes.
> 
> And together they must decide who will sit on whose lap in the tiny X-Wing cockpit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is made up of three rather different scenes that happen as Ben and Rey make it back to the surface of Exegol, because apparently I had a lot of stuff for them to work through before they're allowed to leave.  
> It includes some tenderness, angst, and a little sexual tension.
> 
> I hope you like it!

It takes them hours to make it back to the X-Wing. After their journey down into the inside of the planet and subsequent battle against Palpatine a deep, bone weary exhaustion starts to sink in. They quickly find that they are both suffering from a smattering of minor injuries that make climbing back to the surface of Exegal painfully slow. Ben is markedly the worse for wear, nursing what he believes to be several broken ribs, a pulled shoulder ligament, and a badly twisted ankle. There are sections of the climb where Rey has to lift or pull him up and although he tries to hide it from her she can tell he is in a great deal of pain. She had seen him in pain before of course, as Kylo Ren, but now he no longer reveled in those dark sides abilities to reduce and mask the pain. He was letting himself feel it now, and it showed all over his face as they climbed.  
After a particularly challenging section of the climb Rey notices how out of breath he is and that he is once again clutching one of his damaged ribs. She suggests they stop for a moment so that they can both catch their breath and regain energy before continuing on. She has had to make him to rest stop several times and he never puts up much of a protest. As he sits down on a nearby slab of broken stone, Rey takes a moment to study his face. It’s riddled with pain, and there are deep lines beginning to etch themselves into the furrow of his brow and the corners of his mouth. She is struck by how different he looks now from the man she had first encountered in their battle in the snow covered forest. A man who had beaten his own wound to fuel his rage and drive for battle. Who had barely seemed phased by what should have been a grievous blaster wound. A man who had, in his arrogance and pride, offered to be her teacher and train her in the dark side. Thinking about it now, she realizes that the pain from his blaster wound had clearly effected him far more than she had originally believed. How else could she have bested him? Her, untrained in wielding a lightsaber and he, having dedicated his life to its study. Had he not proven his skills against her in their battle on the wreckage of the death star? More than once during that battle he had her at his mercy, but had chosen to pull back over and over.  
No, she thinks bleakly, he had simply used the dark side to make it appear as if he had been more in control over his pain than he really had been and this had allowed her to strike him down. How different things are now, she muses, watching him wince as he shifts his shoulder a bit too far, causing a jolt of pain down his body. She can hardly believe that the man she had first met, so reliant on rage and inner darkness to sustain him, was finally gone. And yet here he is before her, solid and real, both strikingly new and entirely familiar. Here sat the man she had seen in her vision when they first touched hands. She had not always been sure he would find his way back to himself. Many times in the last year she had feared her vision had been wrong, that he would never be free of the darkness within him, but as he had said only a few hours before the force had other plans for him and had all but dragged him back into the light. He takes a deep breath and lets out a slow labored sigh, somehow looking far younger to her than he ever has and she can’t seem to stop herself from reaching out to touch him. He looks up at her and smiles, recognizing the need to be physically connected was not something only he had been feeling since their brief brush with death.  
“I’ll never get tired of that.” She murmurs, pulling her hand up to trace the upturned corner of his mouth with her thumb.  
“Of what?” He replies, the smile still playing at the corner of his lips.  
“Oh, just you.” She says so quietly he almost can’t hear her.

_______

They are quiet throughout the majority of their trek, having little energy to spend on anything other than getting where they need to go. Neither one of them says a word when they walk past the bodies of the Knights of Ren, but Ben can’t help but feel a sinking feeling when he sees them. For a moment he feels as if he is going to be sick at the dark reminder of the mistakes he made because of the years of manipulation at the hands of Palpatine. All under the guise of pleasing his grandfather and fulfilling a twisted and false destiny, he now knew to be utterly false. Had he ever even really heard his grandfathers voice? He wondered absently, as they continued on ahead. Somehow he thought it unlikely, given the declaration that it was Palpatine who had had been all the voices Ben had heard inside his head since before he could even remember. No, it had all been for nothing, nothing but an ancient old mans dream to live forever and subject the galaxy to his dark dominion. How could he have been so blind? How could he have let this happen? How...  
Rey places a hand on his arm pulling him to stop, somehow able to sense the inner turmoil beginning to bubble up inside him.  
“Ben.” She says softly. “Listen to me, I can feel your anguish. I know that you have done so much wrong. That you have made so many mistakes. But I believe there is time enough to atone, to put what you can right and to make up for what you can’t.”  
“I wonder.” He says flatly, unable to look at her. “I don’t know if enough time exists.” He says, and she can feel rather than see a tear streak down his face.  
“It does.” She says firmly. “Your mother believed there was enough time. She knew that you could be brought back to the light. Luke too, in the end, I believe that’s really why he went to face you.” She says, standing a half step behind him unable to see his face, yet able to sense he is beginning to unravel. “Even... even your father Ben, he knew you could be reached. They all gave their last for you, so you might know the light once again and truly live in it.” She says, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid he will pull away. His single tear by this time has quickly turned into a wracked sob and he falls to his knees.  
“They’re gone Rey!” He yells, head in his hands. “All of them are gone because of me. Because I was too weak to withstand Palpatine’s tricks. Why was I not strong enough?” He screams, his voice erupting into a yell that echos through the walls around them. A wave of force energy radiates from his scream and cracks a large nearby rock in half sending it tumbling off a cliffside. It crashes down into a deep gorge echoing all around them and this she can’t stop herself from leaning down to place a hand on his shoulder. She gives him a moment before she answers, allowing the last echos of his yell to slowly fade, her hand remaining steadily pressed on his shoulder. When his sobs begin to slow, she steps in front of him and kneels down. Taking his face in her hands and lifting it to look into her eyes.  
“Yes Ben, they’re gone.” She says, her won eyes beginning to fill with tears at his anguish and her own at the grim realization. “They’re gone and now you have a duty to live as they believed you could. To honor their sacrifice because you know they made it willingly because of their deep love for you. You have no choice. You must.” She said, as she wipes away one of his tears. “But you won’t have to do it alone. We’ll do it together, I’ll help you.”  
He can’t seem to muster up anything to say in response, but deep in his heart he knows she is right. There is no other way forward and he knows he will spend his every breath attempting to atone for all of his mistakes. Eyes locked steadily on her own, he nods his head in agreement.  
“Come on.” She says softly, offering him a hand. “Let’s keep going.”

________

When they finally reach the top, neither of them know how long they had actually been down below. The surface of Exegol is as dark and bleak as it was when they had each arrived on its barren crust. There is no physical marking of the passage of time that either of them can see and it is an eerie walk out of the mouth of the cave. As they approach the X-Wing the doors whoosh open, but neither of them climbs in right away. 

“Am I driving or...” Rey asks awkwardly pointing toward the one person cock-pit. 

“Oh um, yeah you probably should. I don’t think I can pilot with my shoulder the way it is.” He says with a nervous laugh. “And, someone is going to have to sit on the other persons lap and I’d rather not crush you.” “Right!” She says blushing slightly. While she’d just spent well over an hour essentially sitting in his lap, somehow this felt different. The idea of piloting an X-Wing while sitting in his lap was making her feel incredibly nervous and more than a little giddy. He was a top notch pilot of the highest caliber after all and she didn’t want to make a fool of herself no matter how confident she normally felt.  
“Hey, it’ll be fine.” He says, reaching out to pat her arm in reassurance. He can sense her hesitation, but isn’t sure its cause. “I doubt you’ll need my help but if you do you can always ask.” He says as he climbs in with a grunt, adjusting himself down as comfortably as he can manage. 

“Alright, your turn.” He says, holding out a hand to help her up. She grabs his hand and climbs up into the X-Wing, sitting down onto his lap as gently as she possibly can, trying to ignore the undercurrent of tension flowing through both of them.

“That ok?” She asks, as nervous twinges dart around her stomach, her breath catching in her throat a little. “Yeah... good.” He replies, a little choked himself as he presses the button to close the door and she begins to mess the with navigation system. “Alright, um.... where to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are at the end of chapter three! I certainly hoped you enjoyed this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it.
> 
> In the next chapter Ben and Rey will have to decide where they will go from here and finally get the kriffing heck off Exegol.
> 
> If you are enjoying my fic or liked this chapter please leave a comment to let me know!


End file.
